What if you let it be easy?
The Rise of the feminine business – stepping out of the patriarchal shadows and doing business your way.
Do you find yourself holding yourself back in your business because of the perceived rules you have about how things should be done, or what you have heard others say is the right or wrong way?
Do you find yourself buying into stories about how things should be done and using these as reasons for why you are therefore not able to do x,y, z?
If you only had more time, no children, you didn’t have to work all day in your job, you had a website or a better one, you knew what program/service/product would be best to put out. You felt confident on what to say to your audience..the list goes on.
The truth is there will always be a reason for why we can’t do something, or why something won’t work but for every one of those reasons there will be a counter argument for why it can.
And it’s the same for all those business and marketing rules out there too but logic also tells us that there is not one way to run a business because no two people do it the same. Yet it can be our overwhelming urge to find the ‘right way’ that keeps us stuck and not taking any action at all. And it’s in the action that the magic lies.
But there is a multi million pound industry out there built on telling you, you need to do things in a certain way, we have all been deeply conditioned on the ‘rules’ of how business must be done, even if we don’t realise we have. We have at very least bought into the idea that there is a right way, we just need to find it and that right way is somewhere out there, outside of us.
It is so easy to get pulled along in the slipstream of all of these ideas and ideals, so much so that we lose sight of what it is that matters to us in their first place and what success looks like to you.
I encourage you, at times like this, to really feel into this: What success looks and feels like to you..not everyone else. Not all business success comes wrapped up as a 10K month, 1000’s on your mailing list, or a team of people working for you, we’ve just been conditioned into believing so.
How do you want to feel in your business and life every day? Does having a team of people under you who you need to manage make you feel like that, or does it look like something else? I have been there myself, I thought a successful business looked a particular way, yet when I built it I felt anything but success.
Perhaps you value freedom and flexibility (they are most definitely mine), fluidity, spontaneity, creativity, balance, living like an artist and creating like one, on a day by day basis…what you value will be different from everyone else.
So why are you trying to run your business like another person?Are you sure that your values match the person whose life, business and rules you are trying to emulate? Because you could well be on the road to burning out if not and creating a business model that doesn’t serve you.
Is that ‘expert’ you follow empowering you to connect to your version of success, to trust your instincts and intuition, to do what feels best and most aligned for you? Or are they driven by their own ego, telling you what you have to do in order to succeed, follow their route and tactics, do things their way? The danger is that so many of the people we follow and hang on their every word, are running businesses created from a stress response to their own personal trauma. That is not only an unhealthy and disempowering model to follow but it also keeps the trauma response cycle of business repeating, as we try to ignore our inner demons by not listening to ourselves and following their advice instead, when we could be doing the real work..learning to listen and trust ourselves and building your courage muscle to keep doing so, this where true confidence is born too.
So many of us are guilty of contorting ourselves into a form that we perceive having a ‘successful’ business demands of us.
But what if that simply isn’t true.
What if that is merely a construct we have all bought into, an old conditioning based on how business has always been done but one that doesn’t work for so many of us in this point of history.
Which begs the question, if it’s not working for you, why do you insist on doing it that way still?
Why are you not reclaiming your power and doing things your way?
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”
So what if I asked you to consider this: What if the patriarchal way of ‘doing’ business is dying, has run its course, is no longer relevant and we are here to fan the flames of a new way, a more balanced feminine nd masucline, heart centred way? One that encourages empowerment, flexibility, freedom, mutability, intuition, heart based decisions, emotional wisdom, evolution, changing, following your art and embracing your cyclical nature?
What if that was your calling.
That every time you felt resistance to something in your business that doesn’t feel right, you looked at it with curiosity and wondered, and asked yourself if you could do it in a new, different or opposite way? What if you decided to lead and no longer follow. What if you decided once and for all to become your own Guru? To start listening and trusting yourself once and for all. How empowering would that be and how revolutionary?
If we have only ever known business through a purely masculine lens, is it any wonder we struggle from time to time (or a lot of the time) not to do things in that way. This is not an anti masculine message, this is a call to reclaim balance, too much of anything is not good for us or our business, it is the balance of the two fundamental energies that bring true and sustainable success. Too little action can be as damaging as too much.
But we that things have to be done a certain way
- Make sure you are consistent
- Keep your emotions out of business
- Be ‘on’ all of the time
- Make a 1/3/5 year plan and stick to it
- Profit over people
- Pick a niche and client avatar
- Follow your head above your heart
- You can’t be multi-passionate, you’ll confuse people
- Pushy, uncomfortable tactics
- To suck it up, that’s just business
And that is why business can feel so hard for you, alien, like you don’t really fit in or you start questioning whether you want this at all. This unforgiving set of rules and restrictions allows that little niggle of self doubt to weedle it’s way back in. Because not only are you navigating all the regular stuff that entrepreneurs face, you are also battling a lifetime of deep conditioning that says your natural ways of doing things, the way you feel pulled to operate, is wrong.
That your ability to trust yourself is not safe, other people know better, your desire to evolve and shape-shift is irresponsible (you have to be consistent, you must have a niche) your need to move with your cyclical nature means you can never truly ‘get rich’ (how can you if you take large chunks of time off??!!). That your head always knows better than your heart.
But I would love to flip all of this on its head.
I believe that if you are someone who runs a business and you often struggle with the reality of doing so, in the traditional ways, then you are a chosen one. There is a huge opportunity here, you are here to do this healing, for all the heart centred entrepreneurs who came before you & for all of those that will follow. You are here to make that shift.
Feminine wisdom and intuition has been locked down, stamped out for so many years, its arrival in business is new, we are still trying to navigate it and what that means to ourselves. It’s scary, discombobulating, takes guts, courage and pushes against the system, but it is crucial work, as we forge this new pathway, for yourself and others.
If this speaks to you, I would encourage you to question why you meet resistance to doing things in a certain way and use this as your opportunity to explore what this could mean to you and your business, as well as the bigger picture at play. What could you do instead?
Imagine you woke up today and online business was a brand new thing, you could do it all your way, there was no advice out there to take..which path would you choose? I’m guessing the one that felt good to you, that your intuition guided you to take. So why do you buy into the story that it has to be any other way? That someone else knows what is best for you?
Why do you insist on giving so much of your power over to others?
This keeps us small and powerless.
Do you honestly believe there is only one way to run a business and create success? If that was the case, we’d all be running the business of our dreams from simply following what someone else tells you to do. The real key to success is to learn to trust yourself and your own instincts, tuning into what your true versions of success is, blocking out the noise that tells you otherwise. Because your route will be as unique as you are and nobody else can tell you what that route is.
This isn’t always easy but it is so worth it, feeling grounded, clear, confident and balanced enough to comfortably make your own choices, without second guessing yourself or looking to others instead, it’s not only life affirming, it changes everything, including you, for the better.
I know that this can feel like challenging work, all of us if we are being honest would prefer a clear roadmap to follow and that’s why you can find yourself jumping from one course to the next, looking for the answers, hoping that this next one will be it.
So I would love to show you how to get all you need from within. This is exactly how I help my clients, I guide you to find your way, in half the time it would take doing this on your own, so you can create a business strategy that supports you, your version of success and is completely sustainable to you. Find out more here
You can book a call to chat through your needs here
Katie Carswell – Business Coach