Back in 2018 I had a revelation..that I had been holding myself back in my business due to limiting beliefs I had picked up from childhood.
It made me realise that I had been hanging out in Victim Mode. Or as Michael Beckwith calls it ‘To Me’ consciousness, as in the world, events, bad stuff is happening ‘to me’ and I have no control. I talk more about this and how you can shift in my free Masterclass here.
Dr David R Hawkins explains it brilliantly in his book ‘Power vs Force’ too – see the graphic below.
When you find yourself stuck in the feelings of fear, grief, apathy, guilt or shame, it renders you inactive. Sometimes we don’t even realise we are feeling these things, I know I didn’t, until I became conscious of it. And it is usually some life event or realisation that then pushes us up to the next level (hyperactivity in this model, ‘By me’ consciousness in Michael Beckwith’s) where we then reclaim our power, but start pushing to make things work instead.
This is entrepreneurial hustle mode for sure.
** If you are either in the state of ‘inaction’ or hyperactivity’ or bouncing back and forth between the two, it’s worth checking in with how you feel in your life and business and being really honest with yourself.
This was me completely, a mix of anger (for realising how much childhood trauma had held me back unknowingly) coupled with the strongest desire I have ever experienced to make up for lost time.
Now hyperactivity is a far more empowering state, but it still comes from a place of force (hustle & push), we feel we are responsible for making it all happen, at any cost. So we push on regardless, ignoring our body, the signs and signals that perhaps this is not a great way to run a business. Kidding yourself this is how it has to be, or believing it will get better when you ‘make it’.
And this is the area that a lot of entrepreneurs can get stuck in, ricocheting between inaction to hyperactivity, burn out to must rest, feast to famine, desire to apathy.
Now why is this bad?
This is not the best way to grow a business, it is not sustainable and it can make you sick, as well as being a thoroughly miserable way of living and being (for you and those you love). I burnt myself out twice, once very badly, doing things this way. I went from extreme hyperactivity, trying to make ‘it’ happen at all costs, working crazy hours, sacrificing family time >> to not being able to do anything. That is not a great business model or way of life.
It’s also self perpetuating.
You push so much to achieve your desires, get angry when you don’t achieve them in the time frame you have set, see others getting there when you can’t, so you slip back into fear (I’m not cut out for this, will I have to go and get a job), guilt (why can’t I make this happen, my family are relying on me), shame (I feel like shit, what’s wrong with me, why can’t I do this), to apathy (I’m too exhausted to keep trying, I have lost all enthusiasm for this, I don’t even care anymore).
And so the cycle repeats.
And this is why growing an Aligned Business is so important, because that is what moves you up into the ‘Power’ zone (see graphic).
And as Dr Hawkins shows, the gateway to power is courage.
However that might look for you
Courage to do things differently
Courage to admit what you are doing isn’t working
Courage to stop following everyone else’s methods
Courage to change things
Courage to make tough decisions
Courage to try something new
Courage to stop listening to everyone else and start listening to you
Courage to finally say, enough is enough and actually do something about it.
Courage to stop the cycle
Courage to get help
Courage to hire a coach who will empower and guide you
Courage to invest in yourself and your business
Courage to start being you and running your business YOUR way.
So how does creating a business that is in alignment to you change all of this and what does it really mean?
I’ll jump back to my story to demonstrate this for you.
I stepped out of the ‘inaction’ zone that had been holding me back for years unwittingly and went all out in the ‘hyperactivity’ zone. I pushed to make up for lost time, I paid lots of money to coaches to help me – there is absolutely nothing wrong with this at all, I know the value and transformational benefits of coaching (that’s why I am one!), the danger is when you don’t know who you are, what you want and you are not starting off from a place of being aligned to your dreams and your version of success – This is how you can set off climbing the wrong mountain and it’s a bloody hard climb, believe me.
And this feeds the Force cycle. It makes it worse. You’re building a business that isn’t aligned to you, a business that is wrong for you, with a plan that is wrong for you, going after goals that are wrong for you. Because that’s what your coach said, that’s what she/he did to make it and you don’t trust yourself to know what is best for you. But that’s what feeds the emotions that are in those lower ranges.
That’s why you need to find a coach that will empower you, not one that will just tell you what to do, or show you how to follow their method for growth, that is not YOUR alignment. That is THEIR alignment.
When you are out of alignment it is only natural that force is going to come into play, that it feels hard, that you get angry when things aren’t working, that you feel fear because of that too. And you keep pushing on because you don’t know what else to do. You buy that next blueprint, download that other free course, because you’re still looking outside of yourself for answers. You feel shame that things aren’t going as you had dreamed of and you slip back into apathy. It’s exhausting. You’re up, you’re down. Nothing is consistent including your energy and mood (not a great place to build a business from).
You feel anger, shame, guilt, fear, grief – You’ve paid tons of money to coaches, on courses, blueprints and methods but still haven’t realised your dreams…
What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I do it? What have they got that I haven’t..then you are back in apathy again.
I am not saying there is no fear whilst building your business in alignment, there is, but it’s a different kind. Not the crippling self doubt kind, the nagging feeling that something isn’t right but you are not sure how to fix it. The fear that says, here I am again, how the hell do I make something different happen for me.
The fear from growing in alignment comes from expanding into the next level and embracing the unknown, as your petals unfurl from that tightly held bud that is you. Not the awful fear you feel right now about whether this will work or not, why won’t anyone buy from me, why do I feel so bloody exhausted with it all.
Building a business in alignment means you take all of the elements of you into account, we create a strategy and action steps, based on the right way for you, your personality, other commitments in your life, your family time, how you want your life to be. We build it from a place of power, so you can experience all of the elements and emotions in that top level.
When your business is in line with you, you are not following a strategy that belongs to someone else, when you have a clear focus on what matters to you in all areas, that is when you will flourish and move from force to power.
I built a business through force and I learnt the hard way, the catalyst for my change wasn’t the two burn out incidents, unbelievably! I thought this was normal at the time and perhaps showed I wasn’t cut out for business. I call total BS on that now I know better! It actually took Covid wiping out my business, so I started from scratch, an opportunity to build my business aligned to me this time, from the foundations of goals linked to my heart and soul and I have never been happier or more fulfilled since. This is alignment and I want it for everyone.
It is now my mission to show you how to do the same. I have done the hard work so you don’t have to. You don’t need to burn out or work it all out on your own. I have a method that I take my clients through to create the perfect aligned business for you.
Goodbye force, hello power.
If you are ready to make 2022 the year that changes everything for you and your business, then I would love to support you. I guide my clients to create, grow and sustain a business that is 100% aligned to you and your vision of success. I lead you to find the most empowered way to do it and embody the radical self trust to fully own it ALL. I coach my clients 1:1, with face to face zooms and unlimited voice note/email access, you will not find a more nurturing, intimate and supportive container for you to grow, thrive and discover your way.
If you are interested in finding out about how I can help you grow your business in an aligned way to you, you can do so here
If you’d like to read more about why alignment is so important in business go here